| 1 | Anyone Who Names a Track "So and So Can Kiss My Such and Such Ass" Can Kiss My (Adjective) (Noun) Ass. | Stunt Rock | 3:00 |
| 2 | Really Harsh Noisy Breaks Don't Cover Up for Lack of Talent, or Do They? | Stunt Rock | 3:30 |
| 3 | I Can't Believe I Ate You Out | Stunt Rock | 2:31 |
| 4 | Please Hammer Don't Hurt Em (Its I.D.M. Cause the Snares Are Channeled mix) | Stunt Rock | 2:31 |
| 5 | I Can't Wait Till This Road Turns to Two Lanes So I Can Pass This Stupid Fucker. | Stunt Rock | 3:01 |
| 6 | If I Would Have Opened W/ A Noise Track Everyone Would Think I'm Tough Right? | Stunt Rock | 3:01 |
| 7 | Name Your Song After the Sample That Is in It Einstein. | Stunt Rock | 1:31 |
| 8 | You Made a Really Short Song With One Sample Cause You Were Low on Material and Ideas. I Did It for This Whole Album. | Stunt Rock | 2:01 |
| 9 | All the Baggy Pants in the World Won't Change the Fact That You Are One Ugly Bitch. | Stunt Rock | 4:00 |
| 10 | It Is Sad When You Realize Fabric Touches Your Genitals More Than a Girl. | Stunt Rock | 2:01 |
| 11 | Sweatshirts, Khakis and Krokus Cassettes. (Teen Wolf Versus Stiles mix) | Stunt Rock | 2:30 |
| 12 | Tube Sock Breasts | Stunt Rock | 1:30 |
| 13 | Every Night I Go to Bed and Think About Every Single Relationship That I've Fucked Up. | Stunt Rock | 4:30 |
| 14 | Do I Come to Your Country and Sample Your Movies? | Stunt Rock | 3:07 |
| 15 | There Is No Selling Out If You Never Bought in. | Stunt Rock | 3:31 |
| 16 | What You Lack in Creativity, You Make Up for With Piercings and Pant Width. | Stunt Rock | 2:00 |
| 17 | Your Life Is Only as Meaningless as the Music You Listen to, Case in Point. | Stunt Rock | 2:00 |
| 18 | You Can Tune a Piano, but Oh No! Tuna Bitch. | Stunt Rock | 2:00 |
| 19 | Please Hammer Don't Hurt Em. (2 Legit 2 Quit remix by JLHI) | Stunt Rock | 4:01 |
| 20 | Intro/Sample/Build/Sample/Breaks//Effects/Sample/Slowerbreaks/Sample/End. | Stunt Rock | 4:01 |
| 21 | I Think I'm Cool Because My Song Titles Are Long and Point Out Flaws in Others. | Stunt Rock | 1:00 |
| 22 | The Funny Thing Is, I Hate Myself Most of All... | Stunt Rock | 9:59 |