| 1 | Helpful Monkeys Wallpapers Entire Home | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 2:07 |
| 2 | Texas Man Abducted by Aliens for Outer Space Joy Ride | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 2:36 |
| 3 | National Sports Association Hires Retired English Professor to Name New Wrestling Holds | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 2:33 |
| 4 | Dedicated Thespian Has Teeth Pulled to Play Newborn Baby in High School Play | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 1:38 |
| 5 | Three-Year-Old Genius Graduates High School at Top of Her Class | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 1:17 |
| 6 | Embarrased Teen Accidentally Uses Valuable Rare Postage Stamp | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 2:48 |
| 7 | Principal Punishes Students With Bad Impressions and Tired Jokes | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 1:24 |
| 8 | Retired Grocer Constructs Tiny Mount Rushmore Entirely of Cheese | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 1:50 |
| 9 | X-Ray Reveals Doctor Left Wristwatch Inside Patient | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 0:49 |
| 10 | Clumsy Grandmother Serves Delicious Dessert by Mistake #2 | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 1:00 |
| 11 | Retired Woman Starts New Career in Monkey Fashions | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 1:35 |
| 12 | Circus Strongman Runs for Pta President | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 3:19 |
| 13 | High School Shop Class Constructs Bicycle Built for 26 | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 1:31 |
| 14 | Clumsy Grandmother Serves Delicious Dessert by Mistake #1 | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 1:21 |
| 15 | Ohio Town Saved from Killer Bees by Hungry Vampire Bats | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 2:26 |
| 16 | Nevada Man Invents Piano With 21 Extra Keys | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 1:09 |
| 17 | Clever Chemist Makes Chewing Gum from Soap | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 1:59 |
| 18 | Minnesota Man Claims Monkey Bowled Perfect Game | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 1:34 |
| 19 | Ingenious Scientist Invents Car of the Future | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 1:28 |
| 20 | Car Gears Stick in Reverse, Daring Driver Crosses Town Backwards | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 1:48 |
| 21 | Shocking Fashion Statement Terrorizes Town | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 1:56 |
| 22 | Feisty Millionaire Fills Potholes With Hundred-Dollar Bills | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 2:43 |
| 23 | Busy Songwriter Composes 300 Songs in an Hour | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 1:47 |
| 24 | Educated Gorilla Displays Gourmet Cooking Skills | Jad Fair & Yo La Tengo | 1:13 |