| 1 | Introduction | Tom Tally & Jeff Watley | 0:44 |
| 2 | The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage | Tom Tally & Jeff Watley | 2:53 |
| 3 | London Beckoned Songs About Money Written by Machines | Tom Tally & Jeff Watley | 3:26 |
| 4 | Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks | Tom Tally & Jeff Watley | 3:31 |
| 5 | Camisado | Tom Tally & Jeff Watley | 3:23 |
| 6 | Time to Dance | Tom Tally & Jeff Watley | 3:28 |
| 7 | Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off | Tom Tally & Jeff Watley | 3:10 |
| 8 | Intermission | Tom Tally & Jeff Watley | 2:51 |
| 9 | But It's Better If You Do | Tom Tally & Jeff Watley | 3:19 |
| 10 | I Write Sins Not Tragedies | Tom Tally & Jeff Watley | 3:07 |
| 11 | I Constantly Thank God for Esteban | Tom Tally & Jeff Watley | 3:42 |
| 12 | There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet | Tom Tally & Jeff Watley | 3:26 |
| 13 | Build God, Then We'll Talk | Tom Tally & Jeff Watley | 3:41 |